My Solution to Kanye West's Problems

Everyone likes to talk about how much of a crazy asshole/huge douchebag Kanye West is. Those of you who follow his personal life a little more closely like I do (and by closely I mean regularly read his twitter account) realize, however, there is one thing that Kanye West should just admit to the general public and then maybe people will understand his actions a little more -- his admittance: "I am on a lot of cocaine."

Once we realize that Kanye's trials and tribulations are solely the result of massive coke intake, things like excitedly grabbing a microphone at an awards show or wanting to perform on an airplane intercom (that one's actually embarrassing, Ye, and I can break that one down for you at a later time), suddenly make a lot of sense becuase he's COKED UP AS SHIT.

And, if his coke addiction means anything, we can just take him in as our new Bobby Brown and love him even more because of it. See Kanye, admitting your addictions isn't wrong. If anything, people will stop cluelessly blaming all your problems on those huge bottles of Hennessy you're seen drinking on the red carpet (hint: Being shit faced doesn't really make sense for that kind of behavior), or the fact that your new video "Runaway" reeks of Michael-Jackson-Complex (hint: Michael Jackson also abused drugs, Mr. West). Even though you still chose the weirdest, sexually odd cover for your new album "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" (and if that title doesn't scream "I DO COCAINE" I don't know what does), I still think it is one of the best new albums out right now.

This is a call to all that we must accept Kanye for his powdery nose, because only a coke head could bring us such entertainment and a 45 minute music video involving ballerinas, an erotic brown bird-woman, and a full blown marching band followed by a giant blown up head of Michael Jackson.

P.S. Another suggestion for Kanye: stop doing songs with Justin Bieber, that ignorant fool doesn't know what German is.

P.P.S. Amber Rose is hot as shit.

No trust 'em white face man like Geronimo, tried to go to Amsterdam they threw us in Guantanamo.



I've been on a steady dosage of vicodin.